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A Time for Change: What's Next?

With everything happening over the last week, many people seem to be breathing a momentary sigh of relief. The defeat of Trump in the US election is a pretty big deal, and it affects all of us around the world. You might have noticed I wasn't as active on my social media over the past 2 weeks. I needed to do some replenishing of my own. During the week of the election, I actually had pains in my chest that I knew were down to anxiety and rage about the election. (Did I mention that I'm an American living in the UK?) I needed to really level up my self-care in order to manage the overwhelming feelings of the situation. Thankfully, with some extra time in my favourite playlists and dancing it out, along with meditation and down time, I was able to come through on the other side just in time to be relieved at the news when they finally declared Joe Biden the winner.


What's happening in the US is very personal to me of course, and I've been very outspoken about my views. But what I'm keen to explore here today is the question I feel we should all be asking ourselves: what's next? We know that Biden getting elected over Trump isn't going to fix things overnight. I don't particularly agree with Biden on a few things, but I'm just happy to see an actual adult heading to the White House. I believe it's key for us to maintain the energy of the past 4+ years and not let things settle back to the status quo. Because the status quo means a continued oppression of ethnic minorities, women, LGBTQ people, those with disabilities, etc. You see, it wasn't a coincidence that One of Many ® came together about 6 years ago. I strongly believe in their mission to empower one million women to become the leaders the world needs right now. The world needs us. The world needs you. That is what's next.


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Have you found yourself wanting to step up into a new calling, but felt you didn't have the right energy, weren't ready, weren't good enough? There are some interesting statistics that might explain why this is happening to so many women, which we share at One of Many ®:


  1. We are 60% more likely to suffer job stress and burnout than men.

  2. Millennial women are burning out before the age of 30.

  3. 29% of women will be treated for a mental health condition, compared to 17% of men.

Surveys of over 1.3 million men and women in developed countries around the world show we are less happy now than when our fight for equality started to bear fruit 40 years ago. And we are less happy than men. This is irrespective of age, class, marital status, whether or not we have children, are employed, etc.



I personally believe this has to do with number of factors, including the neoliberal political policies which began roughly 40 years ago combined with a lifestyle of constantly working whilst also bearing the emotional workload at home. It's just not sustainable. Also, there is something to be said for hormonal energy when our bodies have a fraction of the testosterone as men, so why do we keep thinking we need to behave the same as them to get ahead at work? To keep going in the same mode, we tend to rely on stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, and this is another factor towards our burnout. But regardless of why, we know it's happening and we're all so bloody tired!


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Somehow, we thought the only way we can be taken seriously in traditionally 'male' spaces and get results is to behave like Superwoman. She's strong, capable, dominating, frantic, inefficient, and even a little scary! Others might take the opposite approach, what we call the Anti-Superwoman, because, having been burned out already, she avoids too much busyness or too many commitments. But they are essentially two sides of the same coin, being primarily centred in masculine energy with a focus on doing rather than being. Superwoman and Anti-Superwoman are responsible for our burn out, our lack of joy and even our relationship issues. Not far behind this are other disempowering archetypes we call the Bitch, Martyr and Victim.




At One of Many ®, we believe that we need a new kind of power to be the leaders the world needs us to be. We need a new kind of power to lead the fulfilling lives we want to lead. So we propose an alternative way of showing up in the world which we call Soft Power . It's about gaining better access to feminine energy: collaboration, co-operation, and replenishment rather than competition, coercion and depletion. And we look to our fabulous Jungian-inspired archetypes as examples for how to do this, because there are so few role models in our modern society. We call them the 5 Women's PowerTypes™. Having worked in this way for just over a year, I can say that they truly work, with time and effort. The PowerTypes™ can help you achieve more without burning out, keep in flow and use all the qualities relevant to a situation or challenge. Think of it as being able to play with more than just one key on the piano.


So over the next few weeks, I'd like to introduce you to the Fab Five. They are the Mother, the Lover, the Queen, the Warrioress and the Sorceress™.



Given everything that's happened over the last week, I thought it fitting for us to start off with the Mother PowerType™.


First, I want to acknowledge that many women in my audience may have experienced, or are currently experiencing, the pain of infertility. The Mother PowerType™ is an archetype, a symbolic character, rather than an actual mother. A woman does not need to have children in order to have a robust Mother PowerType™. I understand that the image we use to help you picture her might be triggering, but I hope this explains the reason. If you find it's not helpful, choose an image that you identify with. Perhaps Mother Earth or Mother Nature.


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This energy is where we all go for nurture and nourishment. It's a place of safety, warmth and solace. The Mother™ is patient and kind, looking after not only her own 'children,' but all children and the planet as well. She is always looking to bring out the best in others. She will sometimes sacrifice her own needs for those she identifies as her family.


Some more Mother™ characteristics:

  • Giver of life

  • Nurturing

  • Caring

  • Safe

  • Considerate and fair

  • Sacrifices for her family

  • Unconditionally loving

  • Unconditionally accepting

  • Encouraging

  • Patient

  • Teacher

  • Connected to cycles and seasons

  • Mothers not just children, but the planet

What the Mother™ inspires in others:

  • Honour

  • Courage

  • Greatness

  • Gratitude

  • Independence

They go to her for:

  • Safety

  • Solace

  • Home

  • Care and cherishing

  • Acceptance

The Mother™ leads through love and encouragement with gentle teaching and coaching as her main tools of choice. She patiently works to bring out the best in every member of her team, knowing that everyone's contribution is valuable and important. She looks after their wellbeing and supports them to take care of themselves.


Sometimes we can be out of balance, and have over-expressed or under-expressed energy of the PowerTypes™ in our lives. An over-expressed Mother™ would look like the 'smothering' type--fussing over those in the 'child' role. She stifles growth and creates co-dependency. She might be controlling or possessive, or afraid to be alone, and sometimes uses guilt to keep others near. She might become the Martyr.


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An under-expressed Mother™ might be cold, distant and uncaring. She could be judgmental, perhaps conditional or transactional in her relationships with others. She tends toward selfishness, neglecting others or even becoming hurtful.


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So how can a well-balanced Mother PowerType™ support us in these uncertain times?


1. Build relationships and community

The Mother™ knows how to look after others. A simple "how are you doing?" to check in with loved ones, or to build relationships with new acquaintances, goes a long way. Further conversation to encourage your friend or family's member's self-care can also remind you to do the same for yourself. And the more often you're doing this, hopefully that means there are loving people in your life mutually supporting you as well. If not, reach out and start building or re-building your network. I'm happy to make connections and introductions. Keeping each other accountable means you're all working together to encourage wellness for everyone.


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2. Provide a safe haven

We all know the comfort that comes from a safe home and good food. Even if that wasn't your experience growing up, you can still experience this in adulthood. This safe haven can be both literal and metaphorical; providing a safe place to unplug from the 24-hour news cycle and social media vitriol is key, and it's needed both for you and those closest to you. So bake a pie together, discover a new soup recipe, snuggle up with a cup of hot chocolate and a movie, or hunker down under the duvet. Share a laugh or have a good cry with someone you trust; be that person for someone else.


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3. Cheer each other on

Celebrate wins, no matter how big or small. Keep cheering on your team and provide recognition for achievements. Being in someone's corner whether they're just having a wobble or experiencing a full-on crisis is the Mother™ at her finest. And again, it can also help remind you to celebrate your own wins and recognise your value just as you are.


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If this PowerType™ isn't yet one you can easily access, there are some great activities to help.


  • First is embodiment; we do this with all the PowerTypes™. Choose a music track which reminds you of motherhood or mother earth; something earthy and grounded. Close your eyes and picture the Mother™. How does she hold herself? How does she move? Really feel your feet on the ground and sense your connection to the earth. It's really powerful!


  • The Mother™ is a sensory being, so have a go just living in each of your senses individually for a few minutes. Spend 5 minutes only in your eyes, really seeing everything around you. Then spend 5 minutes in your ears, hearing things you would otherwise block out. Another 5 minutes just in your nose, noticing what scents are around you. Another 5 in your mouth, tasting the air, or food in your environment. Eat a meal fully present to the flavours. Do another 5 minutes in your skin, feeling the sensations, temperature, and everything around you. Finally, spend 5 minutes in your instincts. Notice your hunches or your inner knowing. This exercise can be done while doing normal activities like grocery shopping or taking a walk. It's brilliant for your wellbeing in general because it's a basic mindfulness practice, and it nurtures your Mother PowerType™.


  • Constant care: whether or not you have children, spend some time really tuning into the needs of someone or something else. It could be a pet, a plant, a child in your extended family or your own. Take on the challenge of constant care to enhance your Mother PowerType™.


  • Pure presence: the Mother™ has the ability to be with another person with unconditional acceptance and love. So simply spend 5 minutes with a child, work colleague, partner or friend being 100% present. Don't try to fix anything, just listen carefully and make good eye contact. Hear their worries, concerns, wishes and hopes. Get a feel for the whole being of the other person. Then, notice what changes happen in you and them once you've brought this gift of your presence and unconditional acceptance.


  • Cook a healthy meal from scratch for family or friends. The Mother™ is all about providing warmth and nurture, and the simple act of cooking a loving meal is a perfect way to nurture your Mother PowerType™. Choose the meal, maybe make a special trip to buy all the ingredients. Give yourself plenty of time and enjoy the process, pouring love into each step. Notice the joy you can find in nourishing yourself and others.


We need each other now more than ever, and given that we're looking at another month of separation here in the UK, it's going to take effort and intention to make sure we're reaching out and checking in with the people we care about.


Have a go at one or all of these activities and notice how it affects you. I'd love to hear about your insights in the comments!


These fabulous tools have been developed by the brilliant founders of One of Many ®. My 12-week coaching programme will allow you to discover your own PowerType™ Profile to find where your strengths lie, and which enhancing exercises are best for you. Sign up for your free discovery call today!


Love,

Christine El Issa

Mosaic Coaching Ltd






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