What's Next: How the Queen PowerType™ can help us in these challenging times.

As we continue on this series about the 5 Women's PowerTypes,™ I'd like to introduce you to the Queen. Last week when we explored the Inner Critic, I explained how the Queen is essential in being able to befriend and carefully manage the little pixie of criticism. But first, it's important to be able to understand who the Queen is and develop ways to improve your access to her if she doesn't come as easily to you.

First, I'd like to start by saying that there are all different kinds of Queens. You may or may not have certain views about monarchy in general. We're not necessarily talking about a traditional European Queen. If that is the image that works best for you, that's great. But you might resonate more with a tribal Queen from the home of your ancestors, wherever that might be. It might be a Nordic, Celtic, Native American, African, Middle Eastern or Asian Queen. Do try to connect with the image that resonates most with you.

I've selected a few more images here that might help you in that representation because again, I want to acknowledge that the white Euro-centric images may not be helpful for you, especially as white European leaders throughout history are infamous for their exploitation of other lands and people through colonization and the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. Not only is this not an example we want to follow, it's not a good example of the Queen as an archetype.

The Queen PowerType™ is perhaps the most obvious choice for stepping into leadership. This is because she is absolutely certain of her place in the world. She embodies grace and dignity, as well as a deep compassion and commitment to her realm (her people). The Queen has a clear vision and the people around her are dedicated to helping her bring that to fruition.

The Queen leads through vision and inspiration. She's happy to be in charge and to have the final say, along with the great responsibility this entails. The Queen inspires loyalty, service and dedication from her team not because of who she is, but because of that amazing vision she holds. She gives unbiased guidance and sanction, order and structure. Her team are so fiercely dedicated to her, that she needs to be careful not to allow them to overwork to the point of burnout.

Here are some other characteristics:

• Serene

• In command

• Aware

• Receptive

• Humble

• Grace

• Omniscient

• Seeks counsel

• Regal

• Visionary and clear

• Decisive

• Doesn't do guilt

• Committed to her realm

• Comfortable with boundaries

• Prioritises her needs

• Provides order and structure

• Leaves a legacy

People go to her for:

• Sanction

• Blessing

• Guidance

• Decisions

• To give

• To be of service

With any of the PowerTypes,™ we can sometimes find ourselves out of balance at times. The over-expressed Queen is overbearing and can become a tyrant, drama queen or bitch. She might be narcissistic, thinking everything revolves around her. She is so driven by power that she becomes reluctant to share responsibility. She might even lash out at perceived threats to her authority. The over-expressed Queen is lacking in humility and grace, and she may see others as objects to exploit rather than people to serve.

The under-expressed Queen is reluctant to take responsibility. It may be because she lacks confidence or somehow feels she's undeserving of the role, so she abdicates to others. She lets others make the decisions for her and rather than trusting her own judgment, will defer to others such as her boss, parent, partner or friend. She might feel insecure and feel that people are out to get her. She has few boundaries and inspires little respect from others.

So where along this spectrum do you land? Do you have a well-balanced Queen, comfortable in leadership, able to seek wise counsel as needed and lead by your clear vision with humility? Or do you tend to become disempowered, showing up more as the drama queen/bitch or as the unsure, insecure victim? Either way, know that you're not alone. Any of us can become unbalanced one way or the other at different times, especially when we're stressed. For the Queen, it's also when we've neglected to maintain appropriate boundaries or when we've lost sight of our vision.

Here are some steps you can take to get in touch with your Queen PowerType,™ and hopefully bring her back into balance if you think you might be over- or under-expressed.

Saying NO

Simply practice saying the word. Do this while you're alone, whether at home, in the car or any place you can be uninterrupted for a few minutes. Start by whispering, "no." Then get a little louder, "no." Be firm, growing ever stronger and louder, "NO!" After you increase your volume and intensity, gradually reduce back down to a whisper. Do this a few times. This will help you to get comfortable with the feeling of the word in your body, in your energy and in your spirit. Then, find the opportunity to say "no" in real life during the week.

Embodiment

Find a piece of music which feels regal, strong and serene to you. As you listen to it, feel the music and begin to feel the power of your own body, both inside and out. It may help to imagine you are wearing a crown and royal robes of whichever type your Queen image brings to mind--it might be a jewelled crown of gold or it might be a feathery headdress or floral band. Your robes may be made of silk, satin, fur, or whatever material you choose. Feel the blessings bestowed upon you as the Queen. Think about this energy and responsibility as you step into leadership. Move with the music the way it takes you. You might want to walk with your head held high as you feel the weight of your crown and robes. Look with gratitude and loving care on your subjects as you sit on your throne and survey your realm. Feel your grace, strength and power.

So as we contemplate 'what's next' in our lives, especially in the context of our current challenges, there area few important tips from the Queen PowerType.™

1. Know your vision. Given the upheaval of 2020, you might be thinking about your quality of life, or your hopes and dreams for the future. Maybe you're planning to change jobs or you're considering a complete career change. You might be re-evaluating your financial situation or your work/life balance. Whatever it is, start to imagine where you'd like to be and how you'd like to get there. We have the Soft Power Planning Process which can also help you to really narrow this down; more on that another time.

2. Choose wise counsel. Any competent leader knows that having all the answers yourself is impossible. Surround yourself with wise people who are able to advise you when you need further information before making a decision. Think about who you already have in your corner, and who else you might need in order to bring your vision to pass. In the business world, you might consider this 'networking,' as you grow to collaborate with others. But it's also about who is in your life to support you emotionally. Choose wisely.

3. Set clear boundaries. If there are relationships which are no longer serving you, or if there are toxic people in your circle, it's time to think about re-establishing some boundaries. Ultimately, this is an act of self-care. Bringing order and structure to your life, whether it's who you associate with or how you structure your working hours (especially if working from home!) is not only a great way to take care of yourself, but it will also increase your effectiveness and reduce your risk of burnout.

So how does this sound to you? Do you find it difficult to set boundaries with people? What do you think that's about? How would your life be different if you were able to show up in your Queen PowerType™ more often? What is the cost if you don't?

Have a practice this week using some of the exercises I've shared, and let me know how you get on in the comments. If you feel that you could benefit from further support, message me to book your FREE discovery call and find out if coaching is right for you. I'm here to support you.

Love,

Christine El Issa